I have enough trouble on my my own.
So when something goes wrong on the outside I’m able to take control of the situation. But the chaos inside feels intangible. When I love others they get all the nurturing I’m unable to give myself. Friend ships feel one handed because I’m so wounded I can’t let anyone else be there for me. Because if I let the wound bleed I can at least blame myself. Someone I can control. I guess that means I’m blocking out God too. How long will these sermon words last, until my internal anthem blast it’s favorite tune?
I’m quite aware of my habits, and seem to be distant from joy. Even though that’s my therapist name, so it seems that true happiness only comes around every two weeks, for a 50 minute session.
Is this my pain or yours?
I think in this case ignorance is bliss and I’ve heard too much.
It seems I have to manipulate my environment to find peace, and distress is always at the door, bursting into the widows and into my sight, the pours of my skin and the tips of my tongue. I tasted it after I kissed you. I say energy goes where energy flows. There was so much energy everywhere but your heart…
Accidental art - Brought to you by rain and intention